This has been on my heart for several weeks now. I hope to say the words SOMEONE needs to hear, even if it's just myself. And let me preface that this is not just a focus on moms who stay home---I know there are working moms out there who probably feel the same way. Know you are not alone! Let's stick together as a band of mothers, encouraging one another in love!
So here is what has been on my mind….
The face of a being a mom is changing. There is so much pressure!! With Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest I feel like we are bombarded with moms who have it all together. You all know what I'm talking about---the mom who's house is always sparkling and decorated impeccably; her children are always learning from some sort of activity that she made herself; her children are well-behaved and wonderful sleepers; she always has time for Bible Study and probably even teaches Sunday School or volunteers at Awanas; she has time for fitness and easily lost all of her baby weight; and she contributes financially to her family by being crafty or selling some sort of product.
Lately, I have felt like a huge failure as a wife and a mom. My house is hardly ever sparkling; I don't have the most beautifully decorated home; I have the TV on way too much; I try to stick to a nap routine for my child but he often has other plans; I definitely haven't lost all my baby weight; I don't always have time to read my Bible (and if I do, it's maybe a grand total of 10 minutes); and I am currently not contributing to my family in any financial way. I clearly DON'T have it all together.
Then God whispers to my heart through the hugs and smiles and "goo-goo-gaa-gaa's" of my baby boy; through the words of encouragement from my husband; through the hour of conversation with my other mom friends going through the same struggles. Being a mother is a true calling. I need to be confident that I am the perfect mother for Holt (because God made him especially for our family) and the perfect wife for Daniel. NO, I am not a perfect person (quite imperfect actually), but I can be the best mother and wife that God has created me to be.
It is ok that I don't have it all together. It's ok that there are days where I am so exhausted, I literally sit and lay around and watch TV with Holt; it's ok that there are other days where I am very productive; it's ok that I haven't lost the baby weight--in reality, that is a badge of honor; it's ok that I am not making money---it would probably take my paycheck to cover daycare and someone to clean our house anyway; it's ok that my relationship with God is not where I would like it to be.
This is a temporary season that I am in. One day, I'll blink, and Holt and his siblings will be all grown up and won't need me as much. THEN, I'll have a clean house (and maybe a well decorated one) and time to work and time for fitness and MAYBE I'll have it a little bit more together. And honestly, I'll probably be sad that the "time of having littles" is gone.
Until that time comes, I am going to rest in the grace that our Lord graciously provides and be the best mother I can be to Holt and any other children we are blessed with. I'll do my best to not listen to the lies Satan whispers in my ear (hard as that may be). I will do my best to wake up every single morning, grateful for mercies anew, ready to embrace a new day with my family. I will do my best to not be judgmental of other moms, but instead to shower them with love and hope and encouragement. I hope that you will do the same.
To my own SUPERmom----THANK YOU. I never knew the amount of sacrifice and love it took for you to be my mom. The long hours, no sleep, the worry of "am I doing this right?" or "did I make the right decision?", the giving of your body to grow and nurture me, the absolute UNCONDITIONAL love that you have for me. Thanks mom. I love you with all my heart.
Hug your littles momma. Because YOU are their SUPERmom.