Baby Lowery #3: 13 Weeks

Welcome to the second trimester! Yay!

Last week I started feeling a little better, but this week I'm feeling bad again. although, I'm trying to get off Diclegis now so I think that may have something to do with it. with my other two, I think it was week 14 before I could really tell a big difference. we will see! fingers crossed because we have plans with family this weekend and I would really like to feel better.

I went to see my doctor last Thursday (6/27) and I am praising God for a good report. I heard the heartbeat this time, although it took him probably a full 60 seconds before he found it. I was starting to get anxious, trying to breathe as he kept searching for it. FINALLY after what seemed like forever, we heard that sweet little sound. he told me he thinks baby is moving all over the place so that's why it took a minute to find it. another huge praise! I go back the week after we get back from the beach in July. my doctor is now the chief of staff at Mercy(he got promoted in the last year or two), so I really wasn't sure if he would keep me as a pregnancy patient or if he would pass me off to another OB in his practice (this was what we had discussed before my miscarriage). So far, he hasn't given any indication of passing me off and I'm continuing to pray for that. Not that I don't trust the other doctors in the practice, but Dr. Riche has been through two full-term pregnancies with me (and delivered both) plus my miscarriage and I just trust him wholeheartedly with this pregnancy even though I still get anxious.

Would you continue to pray with us for a healthy baby, healthy pregnancy, and healthy mama? On top of being a little anxious this pregnancy, this is also my first time to be a working mom (outside the home). I know God will give me the strength and time to accomplish what I need to, but I still worry about work/life balance and making sure everything gets done but that I also spend enough time with my family. Working on giving that to the Lord and trusting He already knows all of that and He has equipped me to handle it.

P.S. if you missed the story of our miscarriage, you can read it HERE


how far along:  13 weeks 1 day
maternity clothes: About 90% of the time
sleep: Still pretty good. I had a terrible time of insomnia last night for some reason and couldn't fall asleep until almost 2am. Thankfully that's an exception and not normal.
food aversions: Oh yeah. Still coffee and raw meat and most smells. Blah.
food cravings: anything sour. this week I picked up raspberry sorbet and it is HEAVEN. Still no major cravings, but cheeseburgers sit well. And obviously, Dr. Pepper.
started showing: oh yeah
gender prediction: Still think boy at this point.

Baby Lowery #3: 11 Weeks

Baby Lowery #3, our precious rainbow baby, is set to make his or her debut right after the New Year---our official due date is January 5, 2020. After going through a miscarriage at the end of February, our plan was to wait until later this summer to start "trying" for another baby to add to our family. Imagine our surprise when we were in Florida visiting my sister and bro-in-law in May and found out we were pregnant again!

*side note---it's very un-like us to have a surprise pregnancy. we are crazy planners and my other 3 pregnancies were planned pretty well. But it also makes this rainbow baby that much sweeter.

We plan to wait and find out baby's gender at delivery, which we have never done before and we are really excited for that experience! Our kids are CRAZY excited to add another sibling to our family. Holt is convinced it's a boy and Evie says it's a girl, but we are telling them that we will be happy either way ;) They talk about the baby almost every day and they ask to look at the app on my phone with all the videos on what the baby looks like this week. I'm going to be an absolute puddle once this baby is here and I see them with their new brother or sister. They are going to do so well!

I haven't been feeling the best so far this pregnancy, which honestly I am so THANKFUL for. Losing a baby changes your perspective on the first trimester morning sickness. I do ok in the mornings, I usually take a nap when Evie naps (and Holt has quiet time) but the afternoons are KILLING ME. It's been pretty rough. I actually started taking Diclegis a couple of weeks ago which is helping some. The key for me this time is keeping something on my stomach and Dr. Pepper (I swear it's the Magic Juice of pregnancy). Bless my sweet husband--he has picked up the slack without complaining! He comes home from work, cooks dinner, feeds the kids and puts them to bed. He's pretty much amazing.

I won't lie. after finding out we were pregnant again, we were excited but it was a very CAUTIOUS excitement. I walked around the first few weeks almost holding my breath because I was afraid of what that first ultrasound would show. When I started feeling nauseous I was so thankful, but I had that last time too so that didn't necessarily ease my mind. I didn't see my doctor until I was 8 weeks pregnant. Thankfully, we have a sweet friend at our church who is an ultrasound tech at a local clinic and she offered for me to come in and have a quick scan. We initially went in at 6 weeks and we could see the baby but it was too tiny to see if the heart was fluttering. We went back one week later and the whole time I just prayed. She started scanning me, we saw the baby, and IMMEDIATELY saw it's little heart just fluttering away. PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW. I cried. Tears of joy. Tears of relief. Tears of sadness for my other baby that I didn't get to see her heartbeat. Tears of thankfulness.

I saw my doctor at 8 weeks and we took the kids with us to our first appointment (the day after Memorial Day, during the Flood of 2019). We told them right before we left where we were going and the surprise and excitement on their faces is a moment I will never forget. We saw the baby on ultrasound again, saw the heartbeat, everything measured right on track for my estimated due date. It was a great day. I go back next week on June 26th and we continue to pray for a healthy report.

how far along:  11 weeks 2 days
maternity clothes: some. belly has most DEFINITELY popped out already.
stretch marks: I got a couple small stretch marks with Evie, and I'll be interested to see if I get any this time--especially since the belly is already out.
sleep: I've been sleeping pretty well. I usually nap when Evie goes down and then I'm still tired and sleeping all night. I'm ready for my energy to come back!
food aversions: ugh. most things. especially meat. gross. and no coffee again this go round.
food cravings: not necessarily a craving, but the only thing I have found that sticks with me is a cheeseburger with french fries. I have literally had Braum's for lunch every single day during the last week.
started showing: Yup. Embracing it, wearing some maternity clothes and honestly a little glad I already look pregnant instead of just looking like I ate too much
gender prediction: At this point, my initial thought is a boy. Just based off of the food that somewhat sounds good to me and the fact that I'm not crazy sick all day long like I was with Evie. But, who knows? I'll be interested to see if my prediction changes throughout this pregnancy!

the story of our sweet baby lowery #3

one week ago, our world stopped in a haze of grief and sadness. what we thought would be a doctor's appointment full of joy, turned out to be one of sorrow.

the week of Valentine's Day, we found out we were pregnant with Baby Lowery #3 and we were so excited. I went in the following week to check my HCG levels and they were great---measuring at 30,000. We scheduled our first appointment for Tuesday, February 26 at 9:30am. We went in and my doctor wheeled in the little ultrasound machine. We got the first look at our sweet baby. After a few minutes, my doctor said, "I am so sorry to tell you this, but I am not seeing a heartbeat." It didn't really register in my brain what that meant until a few minutes later.

my doctor is truly amazing. I am so grateful for him. He left the room to give us a few minutes to process what was happening and then came back in to discuss some things with us. He was very sensitive to what was happening, and the first thing he told me was that it wasn't my fault. He gave us three options:

1) wait and let my body miscarry naturally--although we had no idea the timeframe that would take
2) he could give me some meds to jumpstart the process and let my body miscarry naturally
3) we could schedule a D&C

we walked out of the doctor's office numb and in a fog. We drove home and just sat in silence, crying for a good while. I called my Mom to tell her the news---she had no idea we were pregnant yet. That was a hard conversation. She called me back 10 minutes later to say she was packing and heading up here.

the rest of that day was a haze. Daniel picked the kids up from "school", brought them home and we all cried together as we told them the news. Evie was just crying because the rest of us were crying. Holt fully understood though. He cried and cried. And then he stopped and prayed, "God, please let my mama have another baby in her belly so I can have a brother or a sister." *cue more tears. GAH*

I decided I wanted the D&C. I don't believe there is one right option to do---to each their own. But for me, this is what I wanted. I had a lot coming up on the calendar with Rhea Lana's and I didn't want something to happen then. I didn't want to have this looming over my head and just wondering when it would happen. And honestly, I didn't want to feel pregnant anymore.

the hospital was able to squeeze me in the next day for my procedure. Wednesday, February 27th at noon. My mom arrived and was a huge help with the kids. We decided to go to dinner Tuesday night because I wasn't up for cooking. We had the most amazing waitress and someone ended up blessing us and paying for our meal. Whoever you are, if you're reading this, that meant more than you know.

Wednesday morning, we took the kids to my best friend's house---she honestly is more like a sister to me than anything and the fact she was willing to watch my kids most of the day was just the sweetest.  I dropped them off and we cried (more like sobbed) together at the loss of our baby. I arrived to the hospital, checked in, and the waiting game began. I'll be honest, I was a little nervous. I haven't had any kind of surgery since I was 3 years old. But everyone was so kind and helpful and put me at ease. I was wheeled back at 12:15pm, Dr. Riche was speaking to my mom and husband after surgery at 12:30pm and at 1:00pm they were waking me up in recovery.

we got home about 2:00pm and I slept for a few hours. My mom was a huge help taking care of the kids and making sure I was resting. Overall, my physical recovery was great. I never had nausea or cramping or anything. Emotionally, we are still recovering and I know that will continue for a while.

while we don't understand why this happened, we know the Lord is still good and He has not abandoned us. Walking through this grieving process has been difficult, but the amount of love and prayer and support poured out on us has been amazing.

they say miscarriage is very common and it's normal for most women to experience at least one. But you never think it will happen to you. To anyone else out there who has experienced this heartbreak, I am so sorry and I am here for you. One of my friends who messaged me told me this: "this club is one you never want to be part of, but you'll find it to be one of the most encouraging and supportive groups ever." I am finding that to be true.

one of the ways we have decided to help with our grief is to name our baby. We will never officially know the gender because it was so early but we decided to name our baby, Hope. Hope has a lot of meaning for us---we have a confident hope that this baby is in the arms of Jesus and that one day we will see her in heaven. We also have hope that the Lord will restore our loss in the future with a healthy baby. Hope is a powerful thing.

Sweet baby Hope will always have a place in our hearts. And for that I am thankful.